Entry to show that I haven't forgotten about blogging...

I have decided to take a different approach to the second novel's blogs. I'm basically going to read through the book, make notes, then blog about it. I started doing that toward the end of The Things They Carried and I found out that I understood much more.

I'm about halfway into The Sun Also Rises...and I definitely don't like it as much as I liked The Things They Carried. Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

Buuuut...fun fact! One of the books I got on my birthday is called Girlfriend Material by Melissa Kantor [it's a quick-read, teenage summer love book], but the main character, or protagonist if you want to get fancy, is obsessed with reading and literature. That's not the cool part though. Her favorite book that she quotes the throughout the entire book is The Sun Also Rises by none other than Ernest Hemingway. She often compares herself to Lady Brett Ashley in that she is an independent woman and seems to have trouble settling.

Anyway, I thought that was pretty cool. And it was kind of a sign that I should finish this book soon.

Off to go read! :]

Entry #20

"For me, though, it did matter. It still does. I should've stepped in; fourth grade is no excuse. Besides, it doesn't get easier with time, and twelve years later, when Vietnam presented much harder choices, some practice at being brave might've helped a little," [page 221].

Well. Raise your hand if you think the end of this novel is depressing!

Linda. She was barely even mentioned until the very last chapter, yet she was quite a large part of O'Brien's childhood. I'm assuming he is married since he has a daughter, but from what I recall he doesn't mention his wife [correct me if I'm wrong?].

I think O'Brien brought her into this story as a symbol. A symbol for strength, courage, kindness, love, and struggle. O'Brien claims he truly loved her at nine years old, and that he still loves her to this day. If Linda would have lived, who knows if she and O'Brien would have worked, but the thought that they might still be together is uplifting.

It amazes me that O'Brien truly believes he found love at nine years old. I can't even begin to define love at my age right now. That's a heavy burden for a nine year old. The unusual thing is that I can actually believe that O'Brien loved her and knew that he did when he was nine.

Altogether, I actually enjoyed this book. After I finished my previous entries, I took a few hours off of blogging so I could think about the book more as a whole. It had elements that scared me because it was so graphic and real even though I was reading words in print. The stories were vivid and painted a picture in my mind. At the end, I'm still questioning certain stories...but I guess that's what makes an author good right? Still able to raise questions even though the novel is complete.

On to the next one...

Entry #19

7:53 PM Posted by Emily Looney 1 comments
I love that O'Brien brings in his daughter to this story. Sometimes you need the innocent child perspective in life.

"The war was as remote to her as cavemen and dinosaurs.
One morning in Saigon she'd asked what it was all about. "This whole war," said said, "why was everybody so mad at everybody else?" [page 175]

The truth and innocence that comes out of a blunt child's mouth is astounding. Seriously, why was everybody so mad at everybody else? If only it was that easy to pinpoint the time that things began to go downhill.

It's impossible to make everyone happy. I think that's why wars begin. Someone is so unhappy with what is going on that they have to let the world know about it. Oh, that and world domination [good luck with that].

I wish adults could wake up and look at life through a child's eyes. They see everything as happy and beautiful, and who wouldn't want to see life like that? I think it would do people good to take a happier perspective on life. Then maybe they wouldn't be so regretful about their lives.

Entry #18

7:45 PM Posted by Emily Looney 1 comments
I feel like Tim O'Brien grew up even more while writing this book. I haven't read his other books, but I imagine by getting his words out there, he has grown up every time. He also has lifted a weight off of his chest.

"Yet when I received Norman Bowker's letter, it occurred to me that the act of writing had led me through a swirl of memories that might otherwise have ended in paralysis or worse. By telling stories, you objectify your own experience," [152].

O'Brien objectified his own experience through this book. I think he needed to tell his stories so that he could prove to himself that he actually went through these things. When something crazy happens to me, it doesn't feel real unless I tell someone about it. Even then it doesn't sound real.

When I went on SFS, I climbed a mountain. It was the hardest, most amazing thing I have ever done in my life, and I will never do it again. Even if I get the opportunity, I don't think I will take it. When I finished climbing that Mount Sneffles, a.k.a. Mount Mega Death, it felt like I had never even begun. It's so out of the ordinary, why would I think of myself as a mountain climber? Well, I did it. I even brought home a rock to prove it. :] My experience was not complete though until I called my parents back at the campsite, slightly sobbing from relief. Once I told them, it became more real to me.

Whoa. I climbed a mountain.
What'd you do this summer? haha

Entry #17

7:38 PM Posted by Emily Looney 1 comments
"How the rain never stopped. How the cold worked into your bones. Sometimes the bravest thing on earth was to sit through the night and feel the cold in your bones. Courage was not always a matter of yes or no," [page 141].

This quote comes from Bowker's chapter when he's in his hometown circling the lake. This also goes back to how war changes people. Bowker felt like Kiowa's death was his fault because he couldn't stand the smell and couldn't grab him out of the poop. I think watching a death like that would weigh upon me as well. He eventually hangs himself because he feels like war sucked everything out of him, like his life is suddenly pointless.

The number of deaths that are told in a nonchalant way in this book astounds me. I'm sure O'Brien doesn't mean to convey that they are not important, but I suppose once you're so used to death, you can easily write about it like it's nothing.

It sounds like this quote says sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is live. I agree with that, but I think killing yourself is definitely the cowardly way to get out of a difficult spot. Everyone is put on here for a reason, but it is not one person's choice whether or not to stay on this earth.

Entry #16

7:30 PM Posted by Emily Looney 0 comments
One character who I really can't stand is Azar. I don't remember him being mentioned much in the beginning of the book, but towards the end he is mentioned much more. I can't stand him.

He's one of those guys that gets through tough times by making jokes. Sure, that works for some people, but for some take it a little too far. He crosses the line for me almost every time he talks.

On pages 129-130, he makes fun of the girl dancing while her village and family burns around her. I figure she is in some kind of shock and dancing makes it all go away, even just for a second. He stands there and makes fun of her. Seriously, you're becoming a killing machine and you laugh at people's pain? Wow. I'm not a fan of you Azar.

I think he's a very immature boy who was pushed into the war. When Kiowa dies in the poop field, he is joking the entire time and I just want to tell him to SHUT UP!

"A classic case," Azar was saying. "Biting the dirt, so to speak, that tells the story." [page 158].

The whole time I was reading the search for Kiowa, I wanted to smack Azar. Yeah, sure, it's ironic that Kiowa dies in a poop field, but I'm pretty sure that everyone else already noticed. Stop making it more obvious.

On a SFS related note, why does everything [even my Lit book] relate back to poop!?

:]

Entry #15

7:14 PM Posted by Emily Looney 1 comments
O'Brien truly seems scarred by this one man he "kills" in My Khe. He uses repetition of the same descriptive paragraph several times.

"He was a slim, dead, almost dainty young man of about twenty. He lay with one leg bent beneath him, his jaw in his throat, his face neither expressive nor inexpressive. One eye was shut. The other was a star-shaped hole," [page 124].

He was truly shaken up about this. He talks about it later on page 172 and says that he didn't actually kill this man physically, but he felt like he killed him. I think that's what he is saying atleast. This part really confused me...well I won't lie, a good majority of this book is confusing because O'Brien tries to explain that a true war story is never true, but it is always right. Or something along those lines.

Is this a metaphor for all those who died? He feels like he was in this war, connected to all kinds of people who were dead and were killing others. Since he couldn't stop the war himself, did he feel like it was his fault that so many people were killed? I am quite confused. Sometimes when I read books, I feel like I think much deeper than the author did when writing.

He uses repetition to show his shock from staring at this man he didn't even know. O'Brien felt like he killed this man, and he started going through the thought process that the man may have had before entering the war. The repetition establishes that even though he has seen death multiple times, it never becomes easy.

Entry #14

7:09 PM Posted by Emily Looney 0 comments
"You're right," he said. "All you can do is be nice. Treat them decent, you know?" [page 117].

I love that quote by Henry Dobbins. It's simple, yet so true. People don't seem to realize that they will get farther in life by simply being nice to everyone around them. Smiling at a person that walks by could change their life. Maybe that's too drastic for every day life, but I truly believe that if people were a little nicer in this world, we might not have as much conflict.

I can't say I'm perfect whatsoever, but I sure as heck try to be nice. I don't know about you, but I feel like it's pointless to be mean. There are times when human selfishness kicks in and all you can think about is "Bring anger, bring pain!" but when you look back on it, isn't it so stupid? Everyone is a person and wants to be treated rightfully so.

Alright, I'll stop preaching now...but don't forget to try to make an extra effort to smile at someone today :D

Entry #13

6:55 PM Posted by Emily Looney 0 comments
There's no doubt in my mind that war changes people. It scars and scares them for life, leaving them with visions of death and decay.

In this novel, Mary Anne Bell changed. "At the girl's throat was a necklace of human tongues," [page 105]. If anyone tries to say that she didn't change from the All-American girl to the warrior girl, I will argue vehemently with you. Maybe she didn't actually change on the inside because she could have always had this rebellious side just waiting to come out, but she certainly changed her outer appearance and the way that came off to other people.

Tim O'Brien changed from little Timmy who was still in love with a nine-year-old Linda to a man who was capable of murder and capable of inflicting pain on another. "It's a hard thing to admit, even to myself, but I was capable of evil. I wanted to hurt Bobby Jorgenson the way he'd hurt me," [page 191]. It amazes me how much a person can actually change. Here is this man who was about to run for the border because he was scared to enlist, and then not long after he thirsts to hurt a man to make things even. Scary how humanity works.

War changes people from boys to men, girls to women. It makes people think about death daily. About saving their own skin. About getting home to their families and the girls and boys they love. I can legitimately say that I hate war. But I love learning about it. Kind of sick, right? Maybe I just like learning about people's mistakes and seeing how they spiral forward in history.

The point of this is that I've been thinking about the motif of this book quite a lot. Superstition and "what is the moral?" have been hanging around my head, as well as death, which is always a motif when it comes to a war story. The biggest motif though is change. These men change their lives and the lives of the Vietnam citizens by simply being present. Funny thing with change though is that it is a constant, but whether or not it is for the best is to be determined.

Entry #12

5:26 PM Posted by Emily Looney 0 comments
"Vietnam had the effect of a powerful drug: that mix of unnamed terror and unnamed pleasure that comes as the needle slips in and you know you're risking something." [page 109]

Ahh, Mary Anne Bell, the first girl mentioned that is not only a solder's lover, but also a fighter. This story is depressing to me. I don't like that Mark Fossie basically gets screwed over because his girlfriend ["fiance" at one point] wants to be more adventurous and travel the world. It kind of freaks me out, because it was written as they were the golden couple that just couldn't hold it together.

But on the other hand, it seems like Mary Anne was an extremely sheltered girl, the kind who came from Small Town, USA, and had no plans on leaving. She was obviously mischievous and adventurous in some ways, because she never would have flown out to Vietnam if she wasn't looking for change. Her character interests me, similar to how Elroy Berdahl's character does, but my respect for his character is much higher than for her character.

This quote really interests me as well because it compares Vietnam to a drug. Vietnam was Mary Anne's drug because it made her "glow in the dark" [page 109]. I think I'd rather be dull and lackluster than have to travel to Vietnam to glow, but hey, that was her choice not mine. Anyway, it's very interesting how O'Brien says that Vietnam was as potent as a drug. I would think that people would do anything to stay away, but it sounds like once one gets in the thick of it, they don't want to get out.

Hm. I think I'll leave soldiers to that "euphoria"...

Entry #11

10:36 AM Posted by Emily Looney 0 comments
"...monster toothache. A killer, he said -- like a nail in his jaw. The dentist couldn't find any problem, but Lemon kept insisting, sothe man finally shrugged and shot in the Novocain and yanked out a perfectly good tooth. There was some pain, no doubt, but in the morning Curt Lemon was all smiles." [page 84]

It's funny what people do to show they are "manly" or "womanly" enough. Lemon didn't want to be seen as a wimp even though he had a tendency to pass out around dentists. He said he had problems with dentists in the past, and basically he was afraid. I'm sure Lemon couldn't allow this to linger any longer though. He was a young guy who was extremely proud and thought highly of himself. He couldn't have his peers and superiors looking down on him in any way.

Personally, I absolutely hate the dentist. I had an appointment yesterday morning and I just absolutely dread sitting in that office that smells of flouride. Also, I don't think I've ever actually seen my dentist's face either....but that's another story. The most couragous people I know still have fears, and I don't think that is anything to be ashamed of. But then again, sometimes young age clouds judgement.

sidenote...

Alrightt. Costello [aka BDC]...you should be proud of me. My birthday is 1 hour and 10 minutes away...and I'm doing homework.

That is all. Almost 18!!! Woo!!!!
Happy Fourth everyone
:D