Lovely Literature

"How the rain never stopped. How the cold worked into your bones. Sometimes the bravest thing on earth was to sit through the night and feel the cold in your bones. Courage was not always a matter of yes or no," [page 141].

This quote comes from Bowker's chapter when he's in his hometown circling the lake. This also goes back to how war changes people. Bowker felt like Kiowa's death was his fault because he couldn't stand the smell and couldn't grab him out of the poop. I think watching a death like that would weigh upon me as well. He eventually hangs himself because he feels like war sucked everything out of him, like his life is suddenly pointless.

The number of deaths that are told in a nonchalant way in this book astounds me. I'm sure O'Brien doesn't mean to convey that they are not important, but I suppose once you're so used to death, you can easily write about it like it's nothing.

It sounds like this quote says sometimes the most courageous thing you can do is live. I agree with that, but I think killing yourself is definitely the cowardly way to get out of a difficult spot. Everyone is put on here for a reason, but it is not one person's choice whether or not to stay on this earth.

There's no doubt in my mind that war changes people. It scars and scares them for life, leaving them with visions of death and decay.

In this novel, Mary Anne Bell changed. "At the girl's throat was a necklace of human tongues," [page 105]. If anyone tries to say that she didn't change from the All-American girl to the warrior girl, I will argue vehemently with you. Maybe she didn't actually change on the inside because she could have always had this rebellious side just waiting to come out, but she certainly changed her outer appearance and the way that came off to other people.

Tim O'Brien changed from little Timmy who was still in love with a nine-year-old Linda to a man who was capable of murder and capable of inflicting pain on another. "It's a hard thing to admit, even to myself, but I was capable of evil. I wanted to hurt Bobby Jorgenson the way he'd hurt me," [page 191]. It amazes me how much a person can actually change. Here is this man who was about to run for the border because he was scared to enlist, and then not long after he thirsts to hurt a man to make things even. Scary how humanity works.

War changes people from boys to men, girls to women. It makes people think about death daily. About saving their own skin. About getting home to their families and the girls and boys they love. I can legitimately say that I hate war. But I love learning about it. Kind of sick, right? Maybe I just like learning about people's mistakes and seeing how they spiral forward in history.

The point of this is that I've been thinking about the motif of this book quite a lot. Superstition and "what is the moral?" have been hanging around my head, as well as death, which is always a motif when it comes to a war story. The biggest motif though is change. These men change their lives and the lives of the Vietnam citizens by simply being present. Funny thing with change though is that it is a constant, but whether or not it is for the best is to be determined.